The Courier Class

I've shelved the "How to Write a Spoof Movie" site because I'm working on finishing up some old ideas right now. Also, that was a bad example because I wasn't really going off of a real outline of cop/criminal films. I plan on working on it now and then but for now I'm setting my sites on my serious detective drama. I had an old draft done and have decided to give it another pass and see how I feel about it. I did the same with "Freaks" (described below) but I'm still not really thrilled with it but I'm not sure I ever will be.

So not that anyone cares but the current Courier Class projects list is shaping up as:

FINISHED 
Every 15 Minutes in Hollywood: A spoof comedy that is basically impossible to make because of all of the cameos. It could be an indie version of Tropic Thunder but I doubt anyone will be willing to take a risk on it. I sent queries out for this script and posted it on Inktip. So far I've gotten some logline reads but no script reads.

FINISHED* 
Freaks: The horror/Western is flawed but it's always been flawed. I'm happy enough with where it's at now to send queries out for it. Usually, you should wait until you are absolutely thrilled with a screenplay before sending it out but I've been tinkering with this one off and on for a decade so I really just need to let it go. So while I'm considering it finished, I still might go back in for one last tune-up.

REWRITING 
Marcus Locke: Introduction: I love the first 18 pages of this script. The rest of it is still a little problamatic. I haven't worked on it for over a year so I'm going to spend the next week or so focusing on it and trying to get it into fighting shape.

TO BE SCRIPTED
The Lost Angels: The cop spoof movie has been outlined and the first act is pretty much written.

The Untitled Lady Fate/Superhero Movie: My superhero movie is outlined but I need to figure out some key details, like who exactly the bad guys are and what might they be trying to do. Right now I'm leaning towards the standard terrorists angle.

The Untitled Rom-Com: I have a good idea for an anti-romantic comedy, kind of like the Scream of the rom-com, but the outline still needs some work.

TO BE OUTLINED 
These ideas are way back on the priority list but at least I have kind of an idea what to do with them.

Untitled Witness Protection Film: Based on my senior thesis film (which was terrible and it was my fault it was terrible), this is a modern day Romeo and Juliet. Gino and Maria are college students who have fallen in love. When Maria tells Gino that she wants him to meet her family, he is, like any young man, nervous. However he soon learns something that takes him from nervous to outright scared for his life. Unbeknownst to him, Gino's life is a lie and he's been part of the Witness Protection Program. Before Gino was born, Gino's father ratted on Maria's uncle. Gino can either risk his life to be with the woman he loves or head back into Witness Relocation and start an entirely new life.

The two other ideas are a teen TV show and a basketball movie.

And who knows, maybe I'll come up with some fresh new ideas for me to not work on while I surf the internet in the coming weeks. 

Posted by Kevin Mendonca at 11:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

I recently listed one of my scripts, Every 15 Minutes in Hollywood, over at Inktip.com and was pleased to see that the logline had been read about a dozen times. Better than nothing, right? Unfortunately, there haven't been any actual script reads which brings me to The Logline Problem.

Every 15 Minutes in Hollywood is a face, an absurb take on the indie crime drama. It follow a number of different criminal elements as they chase, for various reasons, a duffle bag filled with money. Unfortunately, I am lousy at summing things up in 60 words or less and my original logline didn't really sell the movie.

Adam just wants to finish this one last job and be done with the criminal underworld. Unfortunately, he’s not alone. His partners, a crooked cop, a Madam, her two male prostitutes, their Hollywood Mogul/Crime Boss, and a trio of petty thieves all have the same idea and not all of them are going to be able to get away clean.

That logline just makes the script sound like a somewhat silly version of the very films it was supposed to be mocking. So, here's take two. Not only do I try to drum up some interest by making up a genre but I better spell out some of the jokes (and the level of the humor). Let's see if this is able to attract some readers.

“Every 15 Minutes in Hollywood” is a farce-noir about the intertwining fates of various criminals as they each try to complete that “One Last Job”. Along the way, each crew runs into their own problems: mistakenly running over an middle-aged lady, getting into a rush hour traffic “chase’, getting ripped off by Erik Estrada. In the end, their fates meet and not everyone’s gonna get out alive. 

Granted, the last line is still cheeseball (I was thinking about adding an exclamation point in hopes of selling the queso factor) but, what can I say, it is what it is.

The worst part about all of this is that the horror script that I've been tinkering with for about a decade (yet still falls apart in the third act) has an almost pitch perfect logline and one that sells itself.

Set in the Old West, Freaks is the story of a traveling circus freakshow that gets stranded in a town of xenophobic, homicidal maniacs. The travelers have to figure out that the townspeople are the real freaks and escape before it's too late. 

Not perfect (the last part is a bit of a grammatical mess) but come on, who wouldn't want to at least plot that on the Netflix queue? 

Posted by Kevin Mendonca at 03:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

One thing that makes it hard to write a spoof movie is trying to keep up with what you are spoofing. For instance, I was planning on writing a second episode of "The Lost Angels" and focus it around a folk singer who sells out in hopes of selling records and becomes a rauncy R&B singer. I had a song "Magic Coochie" all set up (featuring lyrics like "One minute, you're getting me wet, next second all your money's spent") and thought i was good to go. Then I saw the now infamous ACTUAL song, "Smell Yo Dick". All of a sudden, my spoof song didn't seem so outlandish.

Similarly, anyone trying to spoof a rom-com has to be flustered by the emergence of "Nights in Rodanthe", a film that features pretty much everything you'd ever want to spoof. The cheating husband who wants to come back, the troubled doctor who just lost a patient and is losing his family, the random meet-up at a bed & breakfast, Richard Gere, Diane Lane, and a sassy black best friend.

Posted by Kevin Mendonca at 04:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (390)

I don't know when it happened but somewhere along the way, I fell out of love with the art house. I once was a filmgoer who loved the on-the-edge fare of Requiem for a Dream or A Thin Red Line. I couldn't wait for the newest slate of barely released films. Yet here I am, on the bring of Oscar season, and most of the films I'm looking forward to are mainstream fare. Films like Australia and Revolutionary Road are getting Oscar buzz but I'm more fired up about the next James Bond film and Eagle Eye. Bad reviews could keep me from seeing Defiance or The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but I'm not sure anything will prevent me from seeing Max Payne.

Of course, this isn't to say that I love all mainstream films. No, I think the mainstream is as flawed as the art house nowadays and it seems most weekends have me searching in vain for a reason to go to the movies. It's a sad state of affairs.

Posted by Kevin Mendonca at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (43)

Posted by Kevin Mendonca at 07:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)